After a month, I knew I hated it. This career I had all hopes of retiring in. This career I had chosen above all others. I despised it. It frustrated me beyond reason. I felt empty and confused. I hated it.
Here are my main reasons:
1. It is way too much work — A teaching job is a hamster wheel in the truest sense.
2. Lots of unpaid labour — People always say, “They don’t pay me enough to do this.” They really don’t. If I were to calculate my hourly rate based on the number of hours I spend in the classroom per month, I make JMD$2,233.74 or USD$15.35 per hour which is not a bad wage. At least, it’s not a bad wage until you account for all the hours I’m not paid for (which is the majority). Time spent in the classroom is the least of my problems. Time spent planning lessons, planning and creating assignments, participating in meetings, liaising with parents and students — wholesale and one-on-one and grading at least 1,000 pieces of students’ work per term (not including exams) among other things! And because they only pay you for your timetabled contact hours, the hidden hours of unpaid labour can be as exorbitant as they want. They can make any demands of us in those unpaid non-contact hours because no one can really quantify them and they look different for each teacher. If I were to include those tasks in calculating my hourly rate, I would make about USD$7.21 per hour — a few cents below federal minimum wage in the United States. Seven dollars per hour to mould the minds of our nation’s future leaders. A sad state of affairs!
3. Not as rewarding as I thought it would be — By the end of the first month, besides experiencing the full force of the poor monetary compensation and the unrelenting day-to-day strain of being a teacher, I felt like I was just a linesman working the conveyor belt that is education. The whole system seemed pointless and irrelevant. Students were stressed and I felt like I was just a part of the problem. I didn’t feel like I was helping anyone or making anyone’s life better, like I thought I would, like they said I would. In fact, there were some days I felt that I was making students’ lives worse just by doing the job I was being paid to do. I know that may be hard for many to understand and maybe, in the grand scheme of things, that is next to impossible but those were my genuine feelings.
4. A lot of decisions from administration and local and regional bodies that just didn’t play out well on the ground — I’m sure this is true of anyone working in any organization. The “bigger heads” make decisions with nary a clue or a care about how these big decisions affect the day-to-day of the small man and the client. But when you’re working with children and when you can see how disadvantaged they are and how worn out you and your colleagues are, as the people to whose care they have been entrusted, it takes a different toll.
5. Teaching is boring and exhausting — You teach the same things, day in and day out. You bring the energy and you hope they reciprocate and I’ve been fortunate and strategic enough that my students generally do. It can really deplete your deepest energies. Sometimes, teaching the same things over and over can provide a sense of stability and make my work easier, for sure. But there’s no challenge. And there isn’t even much room to play around and teach what you actually want to teach and what they actually want to learn. Teaching the prescribed syllabus can suck all your time and energy. As a profession, there is also generally little to no room for growth and promotion is not the same thing as growth.
These are my main reasons. I won’t get started on the special brand of “mom guilt” you experience as an invested teacher, feeling that you are spread so think that you don’t even ever have enough to give these many little people who look up to you, those situations where you feel like you get all the blame and none of the credit for students’ performance, the fact that, as is true in most service industries, everybody wants something from you all the time and it can lead to profound burnout, the baskets we get to carry water, the immense pressure of having “the future of the world” in your hands, the late nights, the time it takes away from your own family, the disappointment of helping students to improve their lives while seeing little improvement in your own, the pressure of being accountable to everyone and their mother — I could go on for weeks.
Of course, I can’t say it has been all bad. I have been blessed with some talented, supportive and brilliant coworkers. I have some amazing students, some of who became dear friends. (I told many of my students I was getting married before I even told my coworkers.) Because of the nature of my subject, I get to engage young minds in some amazing conversations. I have job security and steady pay, which can be a double-edged sword. I have a relatively flexible work schedule because of the school I work at. I get a little paid vacation. (People think it’s a lot but take a look at my article, “The Myth of Holidays for Teachers” to read the truth.) I have a decent measure of autonomy and freedom. And as you can see, from reading this blog, I’ve experienced a lot of self-discovery and learned a lot about people and the world. I am grateful. I really am.
Do I regret the decisions that have led me here? That’s a complicated question.
Am I looking for new career opportunities? Most definitely!
Do I still love to teach? Yes. I always say I love to teach but I hate being a teacher. (Confusing, I know, but you kinda get it, right? Yeah? Yeah)
Will I ever get to the point where education plays no part in my life? I doubt it.
Where do I go from here? No clue. I’m playing it by ear, trying to cultivate contentment, trying to double down and put in the work towards my goals.
When I get to the flip side, I’ll let you know.
Miss Education JA 