I knew I wasn’t going to be able to go to university without a scholarship. There was no other way for me.
Student loans didn’t feel right. I didn’t know much about loans. Nobody in my family had ever taken a loan because we were barely surviving and wouldn’t take anything from anyone that we weren’t sure we could pay back. Besides that, I had heard so many horror stories about how student loans tie people down. That just wasn’t my path.
But still, I had no reliable financial support to provide me with food, transportation, books and other supplies I would need to attend university, much less three years of university tuition! So I needed some source of significant financial support.
It was either that or I was going to become a mechanic. No, I’m not joking. The Jamaica-German Automotive School (JAGAS) was down the street from my house and I figured it would be my best shot at getting a career at a very low cost. I would also be close to home so I could come go home for lunch and save on transportation by walking to and from school. Win-win, right?
Anyway, I chose the more traditional option first; auto-mechanics was my back-up plan. So, at the end of sixth form, I was applying for all the scholarships I was eligible for. I waited a long time and got no calls. I went to one interview but they never called back and I was losing hope in my university dreams and packing my tool kit (mentally) for automotive school.
I ended up getting a call for another interview on the same day that I had a convention to attend. At the convention, I struck up a conversation with an older friend who asked me where I was in school and what my prospects were for university. I told her about all the scholarships I had applied for and how I had got very few call-backs. When I mentioned that I had applied for the University of the West Indies’ Open Scholarship, her face lit up. She said, “That’s the best one! That’s the one you want! That’s the one you’re going to get!” She related how much that scholarship had done for her — how it covers tuition for any degree you want to pursue plus good money for room and board, food, books and general maintenance and how she didn’t pay a cent to complete her law degree. Maintenance? Full tuition? I didn’t know such luxuries were possible. The truth is, I didn’t know what to expect when I got into this scholarship game. Scholarship websites don’t tend to be very forthcoming with dollar amounts or details of the scholarship package. So I was clueless. I was just throwing my net out there and seeing what I could get. But, at that moment, there was a fire in me. I decided that was the scholarship I wanted needed and it was going to be the UWI Open or nothing at all!
Still, I went to the interview I had scheduled for that day, but with my outlook completely renewed because I now knew what was possible. That interview went swimmingly and they got back to me in no time to let me know that I had been awarded the scholarship! Now it was time for decisions, decisions, decisions. What if I accepted this scholarship and then the scholarship of my dreams — the UWI Open Scholarship — came through for me afterwards and I was now ineligible because I had already accepted another scholarship? (That’s actually how some of these scholarships contracts work!) This was a tough call, harder than even deciding who to marry or picking out your next nail polish colour! Even though I had my heart set on the UWI Open, I decided not to be rash. I went into the discussion with the scholarship people and I asked all the questions.
Will I be bonded to Jamaica or to the institution awarding me the scholarship?
Will accepting this scholarship make me ineligible to accept other sources of financial aid?
How much is the scholarship offering?
They said the scholarship fund was offering $250,000 (about US$2,500 at the time). Now, neither I nor anyone in my family had ever seen $250,000 in one place at any time. This was a lot of money for someone who had nothing and had no prospects of having anything.
Excitedly (but trying not to show it), I asked my next question.
Do you mean $250,000 per year?
They said no. They were offering me $250,000 in total for the duration of my 3-year degree programme. (Awkward!)
That wasn’t going to help me much because my tuition per year was $252,000. Comparing that to the faint possibility of having my full tuition paid for all three years, I decided to decline.
They were MAD! One of the older ladies on the panel especially — it was her family’s foundation that was funding the scholarship — went ballistic! She literally started to twitch as she made me pointedly aware of her generosity, how they had sifted through so many applicants, how they had deliberated, how they had chosen me — ME! — and how ungrateful I was being (not in all those words).
I was so intimidated. I apologized and explained profusely and mentally prepared myself to help put this woman into an ambulance… but I still wasn’t going to take her scholarship. One of the more level-headed panelists eventually defused the situation, said they respected my decision, thanked me for my time and explained that they would just award the scholarship to another suitable candidate. I thanked her and I bolted.
So I just turned down $250,000, the only financial aid I had been offered after months of filling out at least a dozen tedious applications and months of watching and waiting. What was next for me? I did not know.
I knew I was going to school in September. I also knew that the University of the West Indies doesn’t require students to pay the full tuition up front at the beginning of the year. You pay a small maintenance fee to get started and then you have at least until end of semester exams to finish paying up. So I knew I would start school. I just didn’t how it would be able to pay up the money I would need to finish.
Like a good Jamaican does, I called my aunt in Florida and ask her (sweetly) if she could front me the maintenance fee. She did. And I started school. I walked wherever I could to avoid paying for transportation. I got by eating whatever was most filling and most affordable.
A month and half into the semester, I started getting these calls from this strange number and I just knew it was them. It was them. But I kept missing the calls. For that whole month and a half, I had been visiting the scholarship office at least twice a week to ask if the scholarship had been awarded yet, satisfying my heart with hope each time they said no. I decided I would not miss any more calls and finally, I picked up at the right time, they told me, “Congratulations! You have been awarded the UWI Open Scholarship!”
My heart sank. And that was everything!
Miss Education JA 